Bathroom Stall Tears + Being Our Own Hero
The most striking aspect of our darkest moments is how universal the emotions that live inside of them are for each and every one of us.
The deep ache and bitter sting of loneliness transports me back to the sixth grade gym locker room.
The whole school is sitting in the gym outside and I'm trying to hide my tears from small packs of girls coming in and out with their questioning eyes.
I tuck in to the next open stall with a tiny hand held mirror and start frantically plucking pieces of confetti from my scalp.
I was just formally "kicked out" of my friend group and Becky delivered the final blow with 2 handfuls of dirty confetti from the gym floor to the top of my head in front of our entire middle school population.
I panicked and sprinted from the echo of their careless laughter to hide away in the locker room.
It was like a scene from Mean Girls only it was my life.
Things at home weren't good, my friends just dumped me and I was certain I might die right there in that bathroom stall covered in dusty confetti.
My world had just crumbled to the ground and I was sitting in the pile of rubble that was the whole of my 12-year-old existence.
Dramatic, indeed; but inside those four metal walls, I was safe.
It was my tiny place of respite to figure out what came next.
No one came to my rescue that day.
I never told my parents what happened.
I never unpacked the experience with the two sweet friends who asked me to start a new friend group a few days later.
I learned how to be my own hero that day.
I had to, as my friend Emily says, "fall apart back together."
As I reflected on this story on the pages of my journal, all these years later, it made me pause to think about how many times in our lives we fall apart back together within sacred bathroom stall walls.
You and I both know that it's happening in schools, corporations and night clubs around the world, as we speak.
I can remember the exact shade of the pale purple paint inside the bathroom stall at my old job.
And how over those 10 years there, on more than one occasion, I was transported back to that sixth grade version of me hiding away my tears, desperately trying to keep my mascara from running and once again...believing what someone had said about me more than what I knew to be true about myself.
But the tears are the way home.
And the miracle lives in the moment when we emerge a tiny bit braver than when we went in...
Resolving within ourselves that we're taking our power back.
That we're choosing our truth over the words of another.
There's a part of me that doesn't know why I shared this story with you today, but the more deeply I explore the dynamics of self-expansion, personally, and with my sweet clients, it becomes more clear that this conversation right here is what my work is really about.
The decision to create a brand and business is never just about revenue, snazzy websites and time freedom.
This decision is often born in our bathroom stall moments.
And the visions crystalize when we pull ourselves together, walk back out in to the light and move forward with a new level of focus and fire.
The most powerful and direct way to true alignment is through the process of blazing one's own trail.
Creating a business (or career) that allows us to step in to the fullness of who we really are is not only a life-altering choice for us, it changes the course of history for others...our children, our partners, our co-workers and beyond.
Now it's your turn...
Can you remember a time when your bathroom stall tears lead you to a newfound sense of clarity about your life?
Journey through it with yourself on the pages of your journal.
Honor this former version of you and thank her for her grace, her courage and her resolve to create something better.