This is not a moment.

I woke up this morning feeling nervous and shakey.

I could feel a flutter in my belly and an old familiar sense of rigidity that brought me back to chapters that are no longer active in my everyday view.

I found myself remembering the times in my life when I felt like I had to adhere to the "right" way of speaking and doing...back to the the times in my life when there were painful consequences when I made mistakes.

I've heard from so many of you over the last week: Well-intentioned, big-hearted coaches, community leaders, mothers, friends, partners, sisters who are unequivocally and passionately committed to the Black Lives Matter movement.

You're ALL IN, yet you're finding yourself frozen in fear, uncertain what to do to be truly helpful.

Your fight, flight, freeze instinct is welling up and walling you in.

Your well-trained "fix all of the things" self is looking for her orders and she's flailing without a list of to dos.

I want you to know that I am with you...tripping over my words, over functioning, overindulging on screens, making mistakes and reading too many things in a day for me to retain.

Yet my heart is wide open, my vision is clearer than ever before and I am sitting in the quiet that comes when we give ourselves permission to LISTEN.

Because the truth is, I am a white woman who grew up in New England to middle class white parents who are children of immigrants who grew up in a different time. 

I testified in court at age 6 against my sexual abuser and the jury believed me. 

I've found myself wondering how different my story would be if the color of my skin were black or brown. 

It's this form of inner discovery work, exploration and discomfort that leads to the pathway of true transformation.

When we OPEN to look at what's presenting itself for us to hold in our hands and heal, we open ourselves to the capacity for real change.

Over the last week, I've gotten on the phone with my Black friends, whom I call family, and we've had the deep conversations together.

They've shared their stories and their experiences. They've gifted me with their time and their hearts.

I've spent time in reflection, researching, learning...looking at the ways in which I have contributed to the problem of racism in my lifetime.

I've sat at the table with 4 generations of my family and FaceTimed and texted to talk about how they are feeling, about their beliefs, their fears and their truths.

I went to a protest with my former cop husband and 6-year-old daughter and stood for Gianna Floyd and her father and all of the families who have experienced inexplicable loss at the hands of police and white supremacists. 

I've gotten quiet and listened beyond the noise of my own fear and defensiveness.

And in the swirl of it all, here's where my focus continues to come back to:

The unwavering, unforgiving systems of institutionalized racism, police brutality and white supremacy that are being exposed.

The systems that keep the ideology of systemic racism and white privilege firmly rooted in place and our need to take ownership in our part of this problem.

The ways our implicit biases keep us blind to the truth of what it looks like to be a Black person in America and the desperate need for RADICAL empathy and compassion.

As a people, we have the capacity for transformation. We have the capacity for CHANGE within ourselves and our world at large.

We cannot unsee or misunderstand the gravity of what's at stake right now.

We are witnessing the polarity of Love and Equality meeting Hate, Greed + Ignorance head-on. 

Make no mistake, this is not a moment, this is a movement.

And if anything is going to change, it must begin with us, right here and now - in our businesses, our dinner tables and our neighborhoods.

I know how much you care, Amber.

I know how much you want to be a part of the change.

I also know how much you might be carrying, how much shame you feel from all that you did not understand until now.

I have felt this too.

But staying in the valley of guilt and shame - two of the lowest vibration emotions on the spectrum - is not helpful when it comes to being a part of lasting change and upliftment for humanity.

The only way we change is by getting in the water so we can ride the wave of what's coming.

Grab your board, my friend, the current model is broken and we are all responsible here to share our gifts to create the NEW model for this beautiful world we get to inhabit together.

It is time to unravel the complexity of our own conditioning and what we haven't been able to see, until now, to enter into radical empathy and action for all of humanity.

We need not forget the pain of our past, rather allow it to fuel us into action right now.

It's time for dramatic and wide-sweeping change.

So, dear one, feel what you feel all the way in and out.

Transmute it.

Alchemize it. 

Transform it into new ways of living, being, serving and standing fo what is right.

Let your commitment and contributions catalyze this tipping point.

Every single one of us plays a role in transforming the way things are and how they will be.

We will have more coming this week in the way of a masterclass lead by my dear friend Dr. Jeanine Staples, Associate Professor of Education (Language & Literacy Education) and African American Studies at Penn State University. She is also an author and the Creator of The Supreme Love Project and a speaker at our 2019 Ignite Your Soul Summit.

Jeanine will be hosting an upcoming Masterclass in the coming days and you will be THE FIRST to know about it so we can all enroll and learn together.

In the meantime, please follow her on Instagram to tune into her incredible LIVE videos 

If you are a podcast listener, we will be re-releasing podcast episodes over the next few weeks with some our favorite Black teachers, coaches and authors. 

It's important to us to highlight the work of POC and elevate their voices in all of the ways, while also being mindful that asking them to add to their workload in these challenging times is not actually helpful. 

Please be mindful of this as you are creating content in your brand and business at this time.

I will also be hosting an Instagram LIVE on Tuesday, 6/9 at 6:00 pm ET with acclaimed author, speaker and life coach Tim Storey. Tim will be speaking at our 2021 Ignite Your Soul Summit and he contributed, recently, to our 2020 VIRTUAL IYSS, which you can catch here if you haven't yet! 

My team, my family and I are all in and committed to our individual and collective education on race and the history of race in America and beyond.

We are committed to working in allyship with our Black brothers and sisters to end police brutality and transform the system of racial injustice and inequity.

We have much to learn. We have much work to do here.

We are committed and we are "in the water." We hope you will join us. 

Please follow me on Instagram as I am sharing daily content and resources from BIPOC that are extremely helpful and ever-evolving with the landscape of our times. 

xo

Amber

PS - This quote was soul soothing for me today: "When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it - always." - Mahatma Gandhi (Love wins)