Building the muscle of our gift...

One of the most inane challenges of this whole home quarantine period has been trying to find something worthwhile to watch on the TV.

It's comical to think that with access to YouTube, NetFlix, Hulu...and everything in between we would still spend time scrolling, but the struggle has been REAL over here.

Last week, we landed on ESPN's The Last Dance series featuring The Chicago Bulls and their early nineties NBA Championship run(s).

We're smack dab in the middle of it as we speak and we've been enjoying portioning out one episode a night after Anni is in bed like the responsible-need-our-sleep adults that we've grown to be.

What I've loved about this series is the opportunity to study Michael Jordan's psyche and his past and present-day commentary about his devotion to the sport of basketball.

It got me thinking about my days as an aspiring college soccer player and the single-minded focus I had on the game and my performance as an athlete. 

Like Jordan, I had no time or space for drinking or partying, I knew I needed to do whatever it took to fully commit to being the best I could be at my sport. 

I was like a girl possessed in those days...competitive, driven and fiercely inspired to become better no matter what it took.

That ability to flip a switch in my mind served me well to earn that college scholarship and to later become the sole captain of our team my senior year.

It was also the mental pathway I used to succeed in my studies and later in overcoming the 15-year eating disorder I had developed in my teens. 

It has helped me to build my business from the ground up and to achieve just about every goal I've ever set out for myself.

But something shifted along the way...

As I became more spiritual and learned more about allowing and acceptance, I started to gently divorce myself of that version of myself.

The athlete in me became less essential. 

I slowed down to heal other parts of my heart that were tired of being clamped in the vice grip levels of pressure my goals had required.

I softened in beautiful ways.

Yet, part of me felt like reconnecting to a vision or putting the goals back down on the page was wrong. 

And so I've had to find a way to exist in the space between these two flames...The one of insatiable drive + the other of complete unattachment.

The truth is that I care so much about my work in the world, about finding the courage to say what's coming through me; but I am also no longer willing to destroy myself in the process of birthing what's next. 

I've burned myself to the ground more times that I can recall and, blessedly, now I know that keeping what's sacred alive is the only way to thrive while we're here. 

So, like Michael Jordan, himself, I have adjusted to commit to what matters most to me.

I am spending my time building the muscle of my gift and offering what enlivens me to the world.

I am continuing to design my life and my ways of being to support what's relevant to me with the understanding that this is the only way anything has ever become relevant at all. 

Most of all, I am listening + taking notes as I weave all that I've learned along the way into the game of life I am here to play.

Questions for your Sacred Sunday + beyond:

• What is most relevant to you and how are you working to create more space for it in your daily life?

• What holds you back, mentally or physically, from fully committing to this? 

• What would need to change and shift for you in order to make building the muscle of your gift the central work of your life?

xo
Amber