the question that stopped me in my tracks

Sometimes things get plucked from our story. 

Sometimes we get plucked from the scene.

Sometimes the Universe picks us up by the scruff of our necks and says, "Nope, not here, babe," and drops us in a new zip code or a new relationship or new apartment or new business model.

I used to fight it - like a kitten getting picked up by her mama against her will...until I learned that every time, and yes, I mean - every time, I got dropped somewhere better - so I stopped fighting...

But the catch is - and I know it now - it's never better at first.

It usually feels like torture and I'm wallowing and wailing at how unfair it is - spinning the same old, tired story...whining to my husband or my best friend and wondering if things will ever feel better.

PS - there's something really cathartic about a little wallow...A few minutes to let your people love you and then give you that "look"...and then you laugh and dry your fake tears and carry on.

I feel like I am getting picked up and dropped into new territory right now and yet it's not new at all.

And I have been in a freeze about it.

I'm writing a lot - but only in my journal.

I haven't written a homeward diaries entry on Substack since September.

I am sharing little bits and spurts here and there, but mostly, I've felt like I don't have a coherent thought to string together and every coherent thing I have to say is going to my clients in my coaching work.

And, admittedly, since deciding to full send 1:1 coaching earlier this year - my work has become deeper, richer, more thrilling and more fun than ever. It is also taking up a lot more of my bandwidth and it's requiring me to look at some things - in a really good way. 

Most especially, it's asking me to consider surrendering to it rather than trying to flex and fight my way through. I'm letting what has been wanting to come through come through and it turns out - it's something I've known for a while that I've been afraid to let myself say out loud.

My husband said something the other day that hasn't stopped playing over in my head..."It has to be simpler than this."

He was referring to something he is working on right now with his business - unrelated to anything I am talking about here - but the sentiment landed like a stone for me - immovable, centered and true.

Which then went on to spark my thinking about the things we continue to tolerate and uphold simply because it has worked in the past or because it's easier to let things lie than rock the boat.

But, the truth is, for most of us - the boat is not only rocking - it's flipped over and we're in the water wondering what the heck just happened?

A week or so ago, I did the most innocuous, dare I say wimpy arm workout - I was using 5 & 8 pound weights and burning out my muscles thinking this was a really good thing to do. It honestly felt amazing...Until I woke up the next morning and could not only not turn my head, I could hardly breathe without pain.

I was in a total physical freeze.

Which subsequently required me to drop all of my plans and get myself to the chiropractor and the massage therapist. When she asked me if it was too intense, I was already at a 12/10 pain level and it was hardly touching the knots in my shoulder and neck.

This experience, paired with Ben's question and so many similar themes coming up in coaching work right now lead me to one more question that I have been playing with for the last day or so and that's:

"Are you more focused on managing the life you have or creating the life you want?" 

So I hand the pen to you, Love...

Are you creating the life you want? The business? The relationships? The experiences? The money? The reality of your dreams? 

Or are you managing what is and dodging the Universe's attempts to pick you up like a leggy kitten and drop you into a new version of life?

I hope your October is off to a beautiful start...

• I made a reel over on Instagram that highlights my favorite daily abundance practice. You can read and screenshot it here

• I also recorded a podcast about the content shift that is working for my clients right now and how to activate this specific strategy. You can listen here

And lastly, if you are in a season of seeking support - whether that is in the form of a 90-minute deep dive intensive session, in-person VIP Day dedicated to you and your business or want to snag one of the two 1:1 coaching spots opening in November - you can schedule a chat here.  We can explore which option might be the best fit for you and what you are creating.

Happy Fall, 

xo

Amber