The closet discovery that rocked my world...
We're savoring a "just us" weekend as our girl is at my mom + dad's for a sleepover to kick-off February vacation week.
I've been reveling in the spaciousness, ticking boxes of to dos and soaking in the opportunity to do whatever I want, whenever I want to for these precious hours of being off the mama-clock.
And one of those adventures was looking through my closet, peeling out pieces - some worn, some never worn - and asking myself what stays and what goes.
I had a moment of pause as I ran my hands over the dress I wore for my first big speaking event.
It was royal blue, with the perfect length sleeves to hide the parts of my arms I felt self-conscious about at the time. I rented a fancy necklace from Rent the Runway to go with it and paired it with my Marshall's nude heels and felt more fabulous than ever.
Right next to it hung the dress I wore at my first photo shoot, also royal blue with the perfect cut.
It made me feel powerful, "on-brand" and ready to embark on the next chapter of my life as a new business owner and personal brand just 2 months after leaving my corporate career.
As I pulled the dresses off their hangers, I felt a deep tug of emotion.
It was almost as if I was giving away the former versions of me - the new mama, the wide-eyed, eager business owner with so much to prove.
As I felt the tears begin to well right there in my closet, I took a deep breath and sat on the floor looking up at each and every one of the pieces that surrounded me.
Each carefully selected outfit for my live events, speaking opportunities, meetings, retreats and live streams...they were all right there.
And suddenly, I realized so were each + every former version of me that have made me who I am today:
The soccer player who wore the captain's armband in college
The little girl that testified in court against her abuser
The woman who walked out on stage to a crowd of 97 people came to her very first live event
The me who got married in her 20s and then divorced and then married again to her soulmate years later...
Each and everyone of them was there because they live in me...
Their dreams are my reality.
Their courage was the currency that paid my way to the world I am waking up in today.
They never left me...they made me.
....
In that moment, I had this beautiful vision of each + every one of the former versions of me sitting in a circle, beaming love and belief right into me.
I looked into each of their eyes and felt a tidal wave of gratitude barrel through me.
Tears streaming, heart wide open, there I sat in deep, profound reverence for the women I have been.
Sister, we've come so far.
We've seen and felt so much.
We've fallen down.
We've gotten back up and kept going.
We've survived.
We've loved deeper and harder and bigger than we ever thought possible.
And the truth is, we couldn't be who we are today without those brave former versions of us.
My invitation to you on this Sacred Sunday is to sit down with the former versions of you...
The ones with their hearts afire for the reality that now belongs to you...the ones whose voices shook when they spoke their truth...the ones who said yes when they had no idea if it would all work out.
Let them pour into you and remind you of all that they learned along the way.
Open yourself up to receive the blessing of their love.
Look into their eyes and see what they see.
Remind yourself how far you've come and look to the horizon of how far you still get to go.
xo
Amber