What happens when we hide how we feel

We have been in a season of deep prayer, reflection and dreaming in our family.

With the start of 2021, we began our IVF journey and it has been nothing short of miraculous and tumultuous. 

In the midst of all of the uncertainty, I've deepened my capacity for moving through the tough stuff and extracting the gems of growth that come with being here and human.

I am proud of my resiliency and my body's strength. I am humbled and blown away at all of the support and prayers we have received.

On Friday, we received some challenging data from our medical team and I found myself in a puddle of tears and nowhere to go but right where I was.

A loved one was doing their best to pass along some encouragement, but in that moment, their words felt more like a projection of their discomfort for what I was feeling. 

In the past, I might have quickly put away my messy feelings in order to ensure I wasn't inconveniencing them.

But instead, I used my words and said, "This is grief. I feel sad right now and it's ok. I'm not going to rush through this time, I'm going to stay right here with what I'm feeling."

My words made us both feel better about what was in front of us - no excuses, no need to escape...just the truth of big emotions and our love for one another.

This experience has taught me that grief is not something we need to run from or avoid - it's a natural (and healthy) part of living.

I've discovered that the more dynamic I allow myself to be in visiting with the full spectrum of what I feel, the more confident and empowered I become in my work in the world and in my relationships with others.

When there's nothing to hide about who and how we are, we make room for deeper connection and intimacy. 

We also clear the slate of old ways of being for those that serve us at our highest good NOW. 

Building trust requires us to show up in our truth - messy feelings, mistakes and all. 

My friend Rachel Wright calls crying "emotional sweating" and I kind of love that.

What changes when we allow ourselves to feel more fully - in community, in business and with ourselves? 

What opens for us as a collective when we lead by example in this way too?

Sending you big love + grace today,

xo