A story for your hopeful heart
I was looking at my photos from this time last year - more specifically - the ones from our fertility journey…and our final IVF cycle.
I’ll never forget that miraculous day on the dock.
Anni was at school and we were a few days out from our official pregnancy test post-transfer - but I was bursting at the seams to know.
We decided to test a few days early - even though they tell you not to…(shout out to my sisters who know how this feels), so we took the test out to the dock on that gloriously sunny day and sat together in the quiet.
Ben had timed the wait on his watch and when it rang, I was absolutely terrified to look.
I had seen the words “not pregnant” too many times to count and couldn’t bear to see it again.
I closed my eyes and cried as Ben looked at the test and quietly gasped.
I looked up to see the word I had prayed so hard for and sobbed so loudly the entire pond could hear me.
Fast forward just a few short weeks later and heart crushingly, we lost the pregnancy.
I was launching my book Paddle Home in that same week and could hardly even get online to talk about it.
This was not the way it was meant to be.
There were weeks and months of pain to come…until God brought us in a different direction in our healing journey.
For some reason, I felt the nudge to look at my photos from this time last year…
The date of that positive test - April 8th.
When we met Alex’s sweet birth mama, she told us her due date was - April 8th.
Alex was born a few weeks early, but the synchronicity of this timing, just one year later - as I sit here today holding our 3-week old son in my arms…is not lost on me.
I don’t know what sort of wait you are in or where your heart lives in this moment, but I felt called to share this story with you tonight.
If the dream is in you, I promise it’s for you - even if it makes no sense, even when it feels like all hope is gone.
Sending you tidal waves of love from my heart to yours…xoxoxo
xo
Amber
PS - Thank you to the amazing Lauren Bodwell for telling our story we love you! Check her incredible work out here.